


Starlight dreams

by Irisinally



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M, it's a bit angsty at first but I swear it's fluffy, lavi is a lovesick puppy okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 12:32:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13681740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irisinally/pseuds/Irisinally
Summary: Being alone on Valentine’s day wasn’t what Lavi had planned, but well, he was a coward, right?





	Starlight dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [errantknightess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/errantknightess/gifts).



> Hi! This is my fic for errantknightess, as part of the Valentines Day event! I hope you have (had?) a good day! This was weird, seeing as it's my own birthday today, but it was really fun to work on!! I hope you like it!

Lavi knew that it was a bad idea. 

He knew, and still, he got the bottle of Vodka from the cupboard. He tried to blame Bookman, his grandfather, Gramps, because he had been the one to give it to him as a birthday present when he turned 22, but he knew deep down that the murderous hangover that he would get the next day would be his, and only his, fault. 

It wasn’t that he was struggling with college. In fact, he was acing his tests, turning his papers on time, and it wasn’t as if he had trouble with his classmates either, his cheery persona helped. 

Oh, no, his problem was a  _ problem _ because he was a coward. He had digged his own hole, and now he couldn’t get out of it, no matter how much he cried and whined that life wasn’t fair, that it was hard, that he just couldn’t talk with  _ who he was supposed to talk _ . 

He tipped his head back, gulping down another shot of Vodka, feeling the alcohol burning in his throat. It made his eyes water, but he wasn’t sure that it was the drink or just his feelings running wild. He poured another shot. 

He had left his phone somewhere, and he just remembered it when it chimed at him, cheery, a jinggling bell that got on his nerves and made him glare at it. He wondered who would text him, it was dark out, most people were out, with their  _ dates _ , dancing and drinking, not alone like him, though, what he was doing was just depressing. 

Because that was his problem. He was alone. In Valentine’s day. Why? Because he had been a coward and he hadn’t asked his crush out. 

He had wanted to, goddamnit, he had, but every time he got close to him, his smile trembled and the words died on his throat, so all he could do was just joke around with him like always.  _ Like always _ . And his heart kept hurting, but he ignored it and didn’t do anything. 

He struggled to get up from the sofa, legs wobbly and unsteady, and he slammed his knee against the table, grunting in pain and limping to the counter where he’d left his phone. He glared at it for a few seconds, before he remembered that he had a text. 

Oh, great, just what he needed. 

_ You up? _

Lavi stared at the text bubble, then rubbed his eyes and stared some more. He could read it perfectly, it wasn’t a trick, above the text was his name. Allen, with some sparkles and hearts. Allen, kind and gentle Allen, who he had a crush on. 

He spent some seconds arguing with himself about answering or just ignoring the text. Then he shook his head, a frown on his face. He couldn’t ignore Allen, no matter how he hurt, he didn’t deserve that. So he wrote his reply slowly, tongue sticking out from his lips, eyes focused and fingers twitchy. 

_ Yea h, what’ s u p! _

There was a moment of silence and Lavi worried silently while he made his way back to the sofa, giving a wide berth to the table, maybe too wide, but he slumped back on the sofa again and reached for the shot of Vodka. His phone chimed again and he hesitated, hand brushing the glass. He took the phone.

_ Are you okay?  _

_ Your grammar is worse than usual _

_ And that’s saying a lot, you know _

Lavi found himself grinning and he reached out for the shot again, gulping down the drink and ignoring how the warm feeling seemed more intense than before. It was the alcohol, he told himself. 

_ I’m per fectl y fin e thabk s _

He tried to write again the words, carefully this time, pressing the screen slowly, his face inches from his phone, but it came out even worse than the other, so he gave up with a grumpy huff. Really, he could write perfectly, thank you very much. 

_ I know you’re a History student _

_ But really, try to text me in a language I speak _

_ Ancient ones aren’t my forte _

Lavi found the text funnier than he should, and he started laughing uncontrollably, shoulders and hands shaking. He left the glass on the table, because he was moving too much and the sofa wobbled too much every time he laughed. He started writing again, gradually caring less and less about how the words kept making no sense. 

_ Bu t All _

_ Whst i f som eone come s to th e urgenc y roooom and you ca n’t undersstan d th em _

_ Wjat a nurse u’d b e _

He frowned at the phone. Even if he’d been the one who had written the message, he had a hard time understanding what he’d meant. He pressed random letters while he waited for Allen to decipher his message. He grinned like an idiot when he saw the little dots that meant that Allen was writing. 

_ Okay, first of all _

_ I’m dying with this essay, can’t i just skip college and start working like rn? _

_ And second _

_ Are you drunk? _

Lavi grimaced and reached out for the glass, pouring himself another shot, almost dropping his phone in the process. He scrambled for it, but the phone fell down on the beige carpet with a muffled sound. 

Just his luck. Then again, Allen had a lot of experience with drunks. First Cross, his guardian, who had alcohol running through his veins and from who Allen had complained so much ever since Lavi had known him enough for the boy to vent to him. And then, Allen didn’t like drinking, so he was usually the one who had to control the rest when they went out. Really, Lavi, you’re such a genius, it’s amazing. 

_ May bw _

He took another sip from his glass, but this time it just tasted bitter. The good mood he’d had until that moment had gone down the drain as soon as Allen, his fucking crush, had noticed that he was drunk, probably alone at home, in Valentine’s day. He wanted to say that he knew how Allen would react to that, but he really didn’t have any idea. That was one of the things he liked about Allen, how unpredictable he was, he always managed to surprise him one way or another. He didn’t like it in this situation, though.

_ Are you drunk _

_ alone _

_ at home? _

Lavi grimaced again and even thought about not answering him. But then again, this was Allen. He didn’t want to lose him, didn’t want to have a fall out with him, no matter what, he wanted to have him by his side. Maybe he was over exaggerating, but he knew that Allen had trust issues, even if it seemed like the opposite most of the time. 

Still, he was annoyed.

_ Wha t id thiss’? _

_ 20 qwsti ons? _

He waited for a few seconds, nervously staring at his glass, making the Vodka inside twirl. He regretted more and more his words, as the seconds ticked by, and he reached again for his phone, mouth set in a thin line, leaving his glass on the table again. He hadn’t heard any new messages, so he started writing another one himself, fingers careful again. Allen beat him to it.

_ Just answer me, Lavi _

Lavi paused, staring at the new text, chewing on his lip. He deleted his last message and started writing the next one slowly, carefully. He didn’t have much to lose, to be honest, Allen had to know that something was wrong, and the boy was stubborn. Lavi could almost hear him saying those words, firm, his ‘no bullshit allowed’ tone, his silver eyes locked on him, _ daring _ him to lie to his face. 

_...Ma ybe _

He chewed on his lip, nervous, checking his phone again and again, looking for the dots to appear. He sipped the drink, but the flavour was all wrong now and he ended up leaving the glass on the table for good. He took a deep breath and stood up from the sofa, determined to hide the bottle of Vodka again, because God, he’d been such an idiot, right?

He collapsed right on the sofa when his phone chirped just seconds after he’d managed to stand up without falling back down immediately because of his dizziness and he cursed. He reached for the phone, eye glaring at the Vodka, this was all its fault.

_ I didn’t take you for the depressing type _

Lavi grimaced. Allen wasn’t done.

_ Did something happen? _

He paused, fingers ready to keep writing, eye locked on the last message. Oh, yes, there was a problem, alright, but Lavi wasn’t sure that he should say it, when the problem here was related to the very same person that was asking him. Lavi could see Allen, frowning at his phone, laptop probably on his lap, with a long essay on blood types on screen.

_ Lavi? _

The redhead sighed and leaned his head back on the headrest, eye threatening to close or cry, he wasn’t really sure. Ugh, he wanted to tell Allen what he felt, what he was to him, what he thought, but he couldn’t. His fingers trembled. And really, he couldn’t propose to him through text, could he? And he was drunk. Allen could think that it was just a joke, a prank, and he would lose him, because Allen wasn’t good with positive feelings to star with, and he knew that, but… but…

_ Lavi, I swear _

_ If you don’t answer right now… _

But he needed to tell him, right? At this rate, he would become crazy, even more than he already was, Kanda would say, and he couldn’t stand his heart hurting for that much time. Because it hurt, it hurt to not be by his side, to know that there was still that distance between them, and he wanted to cross it, wanted to run through it with his arms wide open and glue himself to the white haired boy that had stars shining in his eyes.

Lavi let out a loud growl and almost threw his phone, but he paused, eye locking on the light that was blinking at him, reminding him of the new texts. He opened them, heart nervous and fluttering, and he gasped, then coughed, but he didn’t stop reading.

_ Lavi _

_ Lavi _

_ Okay you know what _

_ I’m going _

_ And you can’t stop me _

_ I still have the keys you forgot here _

_ Don’t even think of running away _

Lavi scrambled to open the keyboard, fingers shaking and sweat appearing on his forehead. Allen was coming, coming, and he was going to see him in this sorry state and really, he was this close to just scream that he liked-liked him, and that he wanted to stay with him forever, but maybe he was just drunk and unstable and tired. 

But no, those feelings… he had the same feelings when he was sober, and they were painfully obvious, he wondered why Allen didn’t notice anything. Or, maybe… Lavi’s heart sent a stab of pain and he lowered his head, eye watering. Maybe he didn’t say anything because he didn’t feel the same, and everyone knew of Allen’s sympathy, he wouldn’t want to hurt him that way.

_ YYOU’ RW QHA T?? ! _

No, no, that couldn’t be, right? But what if it was? What would he do if Allen didn’t feel the same? Could he win him over? He didn’t know. And maybe it would be too late because, seriously, who didn’t love that angel? Maybe Kanda, but he was a special case, and he was starting to warm up to him. Not so cold, uh?

But think, Lavi, think. How much could Allen take to get to his house? 15 minutes? Half an hour? He didn’t know, ah, he didn’t know, even if he had gone to his apartment a lot of times to watch some movie or play a video game or even just to spend time together. 

He stood up, too fast, and the world tilted to the side, but he ignored it and waved his hand in the air until he could close his fingers around the bottle of Vodka. He stumbled through the room, not for the first time wishing that he had put away all the books he had lying around. 

He nearly threw the glass into the dishwasher and he hurried to the sofa where he’d left his phone, nervous eye checking the time. He compared it to Allen’s last text, and almost screeched when he saw that it had been more than twenty minutes since he sent it. 

He stood up from where he was crouching in front of the sofa, and his brain did another summersault and someone ringed the doorbell and Lavi lost his footing, so he fell on the floor with a loud ‘thud’, knocking his back against the low coffee table. He groaned from the floor, reaching back with his hand to rub his back, eye pained. 

He heard the jingling of keys, then that someone introduced them in the keyhole and the door flew open. And all Lavi could see in his daze was a white and black blur running towards him. And then a laugh that added at least ten years to his life.

“You’re such an idiot, you know that?” said the soft voice and Lavi found himself grinning like an idiot, just as his crush had called him. Allen crouched beside him, smile as soft as the summer clouds and reached out for him with his hands. “C’mon, you need to lie down.”

“Yessir,” he slurred and closed his hands around Allen’s ignoring the shock that ran through him. Allen pulled and heaved him up quickly, so quick that Lavi groaned again and had to free one of his hands, reluctantly, to rub at his head. 

“Too fast?” asked Allen, worried, and Lavi only groaned again. “Sorry.”

“ ‘s ‘kay,” he mumbled, and he let Allen led him back to the sofa, leaning down with another grunt when his back made contact with the soft cloth. He’d have a nice collection of bruises there. 

He gazed at Allen, who was walking calmly to his kitchen, moving as if he was in his own house, and Lavi was reminded of how much his friend (and crush) had moved around the whole world. Always moving, always leaving the places they stayed at. But now was different, now Allen was free from his guardian, he could stay, with him, with Lavi, he couldn’t fuck it up. 

“Here,” said Allen, voice still soft, not smiling but relaxed, and Lavi took the glass of water from his hands, smiling like an idiot again when he saw that the boy hadn’t put on gloves to hide the scars that marred his left arm. Allen tilted his head to the side, considering him, sitting on the floor by the side of the sofa. “You’re not usually the type of drunk that mops around.”

“I suppose,” mumbled Lavi and stretched his arm to leave the glass on the table. Allen sighed.

“And you’re not gonna tell me anything, are you?” he asked, and even if his voice sounded resigned, Lavi saw a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. His eye lingered too much there.

“Nope,” he said simply. Even if he wanted to… he was a coward again. 

“Fine,” said Allen, sighing again, and he threw his hands in the air, smile pulling harder. Lavi grinned at him again. Allen started standing up again and the grin disappeared from Lavi’s lips immediately, replaced with anxiety. “I’ll leave you be. You need rest now. Brace yourself for tomorrow’s hangover.”

Lavi didn’t think. Allen turned to leave, white hair seeming almost colorless in the light, ethereal, and Lavi reached out with his hand, closing his fingers around his left wrist, the scarred wrist, and Allen’s head whipped to him again, surprise clear on his face, starlight eyes wide. Lavi almost lost himself in them again, but he managed to find his voice.

“Stay,” he said, voice soft and maybe too quiet, and Allen opened his mouth, but Lavi didn’t let him say anything. “Stay, at least a little longer.”

“Lavi-” started saying Allen, but Lavi found a spark, inside him, and he pulled on his wrist. Allen lost balance, completely caught off guard, and he fell on top of Lavi. He pulled away immediately and Lavi would have laughed at the red on his cheeks, if he himself wasn’t burning up. “Lavi, what the hell are you-?”

“I’m such an idiot, as you know,” interrupted Lavi, moving his arms around the lithe body. He closed and opened his mouth, trying to find the words, and he hesitated,  _ again _ , but something pulled him forward, he couldn’t back down,  _ not again _ , because Allen hadn’t ripped his arms from around him. He sighed, took a deep breath, and closed his eye. “I’ve been trying to tell you, really, but, well… Still, I… really like you, Allen. Like, really like-like you.”

There was silence, and Lavi became even more nervous as the seconds ticked by. But, Allen hadn’t moved away. He was still pressed against him, half lying on him, half lying on the sofa, and he could smell the sugar and lavender, and feel the silver eyes locked on him. He still had hope.

Then, he jumped when Allen laughed and let himself fall on him. Lavi lost his breath as the boy wrapped his arms around him, head resting against his, and the redhead pressed him tighter against his body, because, yes, yes,  _ yes, let it be true. _

“All this time…” mumbled Allen, and Lavi could hear his smile, soft, like feathers. “You really are an idiot…” Lavi’s face must have been so red at that moment, when Allen’s hands caressed his hair, and Lavi could do nothing but nuzzle his cheek against his white hair. “But… you’re  _ my _ idiot.”

Lavi’s heart sang from joy.


End file.
